Barton 2nds 2 v 1 Mens 2nds

Scorer: Chris Currie
Man of the Match –Chris Currie – Scoring a fantastic goal.
Donkey of the Day – Jimmy Meers for not mixing up his aerials and giving Barton too much forward notice of what he was going to do.

What a farce. I have never seen such a literal interpretation of the rules in my whole hockey career and that goes back to the war. Nobody was allowed to play hockey, neither ourselves nor the opposition. Two of the Barton players even apologised to us after the game.

If anyone attempted a tackle they were blown up immediately. It only took the slightest tapping together of two sticks and the whistle was blown. Nobody could use stick skills because it was immediately interpreted as back stick. Ben Matthews was literally unable to play hockey. He had been playing this way all season and won plaudits up and down the country, never once being blown for a back stick. In this game he must have been blown up half a dozen times in the first 15 minutes. We couldn’t even talk nicely to the umpires to try and understand how they were interpreting the rules, as they gave a green card immediately – Captain Ant knew all about that. No advantage was played, ever. Negus was deemed to have jumped the gun at 3 defensive short corners as he apparently started to move, not run but move, milliseconds before the attackers stick actually connected with the ball, even though the attacker had committed to the push in and was in full swing mode. We all know how slowly Negus runs at short corners so he took these 3 offences as a pat on the back from the umpires.

However when the same attacker fluffed a short corner push in and did a “Moloney” with the ball only going one yard, he didn’t step away from the ball. Instead he deliberately smacked the ball again to take it away from a defender. That should be an immediate yellow card. But not in this game. The umpires were about to ask for the short corner to be taken again (!) when we pointed out the rule to them and then after two minutes of debate decided that no card at all should be shown and we could have a 16.

In the second half the Adders basically gave up playing as there was no point. We weren’t playing hockey. Chris Currie scored a beautiful goal after taunting their keeper with several turns. Well done Chris. Brent missed a couple of golden opportunities in the second half but we know how he loves a back stick shot, so any goals would have been disallowed.
I am not sure what the final score was, there was no point in being interested. What a waste of a couple of hours. Anyway it all loosened up later with fines night and a boozy session in the Black Horse. It was helped even more when the 1sts turned up after disembowelling Ramgarhia Derby and claiming the league championship – well done guys.