Mens 2nds 9 - 0 Khalsa Leamington

Scorers: Peter Lancaster (2), Will Currie (2), Ray Mawee, Ben Oldham, Keelan Ford, Graeme Willmott, Chris Currie
Players of the MatchSuch was the overall quality of play throughout the team, 8 people were voted for MOM and 3 came equal with 2 votes a piece (not everybody came back to the club) – Graeme Willmott, Will Currie and Ranjtastic
Donkey of the Day: Rory Kobrin – the only attacking player not to score

Captain Christian Moloney was away on a Spa weekend with his besties having his beard conditioned. Therefore this was Mad Dog Willmott’s first time as Captain for a league game. He had captained two friendlies before and he had a fantastic 100% record – he’d lost both games. The Hockey Gods were therefore a little bit nervous but they shouldn’t have been because Mad Dog came into the changing room barking his orders and firing us all up. He was determined to win this game and win it shouty style. We couldn’t fail to be motivated by this puppy turned raging Werewolf. As soon as the whistle went Mad Dog led the Charge of the Light Brigade into Khalsa territory and rather than getting shredded by the Canons he nuked the Khalsa defence, getting the first goal himself and showing the Gods what he expected.

The WALL of Negus, Chink, Ranj, Ciaran and Luke were a little nonchalant. They always perform awesomely, it’s just what they do. But the midfield and forwards, well they can be a bit shaky at times. However not today. Today they were unbelievably awesome. The WALL were gobsmacked, for once they didn’t have to carry the team! It was a procession of goals scored beautifully by clever and simple inter passing. Ben Oldham had stepped up from the 3rds and he was so good he even got a goal himself. We were 5-0 up at half time and the forwards and midfield were taking it in turns to score goals. Everybody apart from Rory that is. Peter Lancaster had finally got his sights straightened and he got a brace as did Will Currie but everybody wanted a go with Raj, Keelan and Chris Currie also getting on the score sheet. It was a masterclass. Early in the second half Khalsa changed strategy and really put the pressure on the WALL for 10 minutes but the WALL just scoffed and soaked everything up and spat it back out. Luke in particular did another run out from his D and sweetly swept the ball away, with his stick, from a rampaging forward. Negus out ran their sprinty forward every time and unceremoniously clubbed him every time too. Then the scoring procession started again. It was only 8 – 0 now and the WALL felt that the midfield and forwards were starting to lose momentum, so it was time for some learning. Ranj hit a thunder shot from his own 25 yard side line and it went straight to the top of the D where Will Currie was waiting. Only the spiciest of Curries could have stopped that smack. Will then waved his magic wand and majestically sent two of their defenders and their keeper off balance and slotted the ball into the back of the net for his second. Goal of the game – just one unbelievable pass and then a sprinkle of magic Currie powder.
It was an excellent performance from the Adders and although we remorselessly took the micky out of Rory in the bar for being the only attacking player not to score it was only because we couldn’t think of anyone who had had a bad game, not even Negus! To be fair Rory probably had one of his best games ever, selflessly working hard to set his team mates up time and time again. He was Yoda and the force was strong with him. In fact there were two Yoda’s on our team as Keelan also played out of his skin. They are ever so cute when they are that small, despite that wind chime in Keelan’s nose.

Christian will be back in charge next week with a beautifully silky beard but the 9-0 win will be hard to beat.